Godzilla

Ok, so this is hardly obscure, it's the biggest opening movie so far in 2014, but it's still Godzilla and I remember when it was rare as hell to see them in the theater, so I say it qualifies lol.

Of course the biggest fear most people had was that any non Japanese film starring The Big G would be as big a mess as the 1998 film. Granted I didn't hate it as much as most people and think it would have been better received if it hadn't tried to pass itself off as a Godzilla film, but it was a colossal disappointment. This probably wasn't helped by the choice of director, Gareth Edwards. His previous film, 2010's “Monsters” is a great film, but it's also his only feature and was made for pocket change. Could he handle a $160 million dollar blockbuster? Even Peter Jackson hadn't made that big a leap, having at least done “The Frighteners” to get familiar with studio work before taking on LOTR.

Thankfully, Gareth proves to be more than up to the task and delivers a film that mixes the original film's buildup and suspense with the kaiju battles of the later films while avoiding the pro wrestling inspired silliness that marked the film's low points.

One of the main complaints about the film is that it's slow to start, and at first I was actually in agreement with those complaints. But as the film went on it became obvious that starting off focusing on the human characters pays off and you actually care about them and their fate.

The film starts with a presentation that gives a quick background to the situation, which is somewhat different from the Toho version but still close. It also begins in the same way as the original, (and by that I mean the Japanese “Gojira”, not the recut American version), slowly with just suggestions and brief glimpses among the character’s being built up. The destruction of the nuclear plant is impressive on both the emotional and visual levels, but even then the creature is kept entirely off screen.

It's a good half hour until we see the MUTO, and that is a spectacular sequence well worth the build up as it hatches from a giant cocoon and lays waste to all around. Godzilla himself doesn't make a full appearance until nearly an hour in, and when it does it is spectacular and at that point the action kicks in and doesn't stop till the end.

This time around the creatures are a mix of CGI and motion capture and it is some of the best CGI I've ever seen. They look real and imposing, move like they have actual mass and weight and are very convincing. A special mention has to be given to Godzilla's fire breath, although badly underused, the effect is stunning looking more like lightning than fire.

On the down side, at times it seems our hero has a knack for coincidentally being in the right place at the right time and it starts to feel a bit forced towards the end of the film. Also the cast is fairly small which goes a bit against establishing the scope of the events.

So while not all it could have been, Godzilla is still a damn good way to spend a couple of hours and highly recommended.

Godzilla (2014) Trailer

Zombie Women of Satan

A movie that starts with a burlesque troupe performing can't be all bad can it? Especially when it involves a hot woman doing a fan dance right? Well yeah it can when she's wearing pasties that cover not only her nipples but half her damn boobies. And this is in a film who's main, (only?), selling point is topless female zombies... Sadly this is just one of the many disconnects and epic failings of this film.

The setup is great, the afore mentioned burlesque troupe and a female rock singer are invited to a remote farm to be interviewed for an internet show. Of course the host has a secret that involves a cult of brainwashed women and a mad scientist father doing bizarre experiments on women. Of course the singer has a secret of her own, her sister vanished visiting the host and his cult and she's determined to find her at any cost. So we have a group that includes a tough chick, a dwarf, a mute who's act involves chainsawing an apple in half while holding it in his mouth, (there's a reason he's mute...), and Pervo the Clown having to face down these flesh eating flashers, and it all goes horribly wrong.

A film like this has to walk a fairly thin line between enjoyable sleaze and outright misogyny, and the makers of this film didn't even try. Most of the film's “action” consists of scantily clad, and frequently topless female zombies being beaten to death with blunt objects such as golf clubs, usually after Pervo has managed to grope them and make a couple of titty jokes. There's also a bit of apparent zombie rape/necrophilia. I say apparent because the bound female zombie has panties on, and her attacker keeps his pants on, but there he is grinding away regardless.

Now I'm not one to offend easily but this film managed it. It desperately wants to be over the top and outrageous in it's humor but falls so short it's painful. With some actual talent involved this could have been a good enough black comedy along the lines of Bad Taste or Frankenhooker but the writing and directing never rise to the occasion. Even without that it still might have found a niche if they'd piled on the gore the ludicrous levels, but the budget didn't allow for that. Instead you just have ninety minutes of unredeemed and unleavened bad taste and a shitty attitude towards women. Which is a shame because some of the zombies are rather well built...

  I paid $1 for this and honestly I feel ripped off. If you really feel the need to see this you can find the whole film on YouTube and be ripped of of nothing but your time.

                               Zombie Women of Satan (2009) Trailer